Pastor John Gray revealed that the backlash that he received over some of his personal choices triggered his suicidal idealization, he also revealed in the sermon that he was getting counseling because prayer alone wasn’t enough to deal with some of the unresolved trauma he has in his life.
The pastorfaced much public scrutiny in recent months for lavishing his wife with a $200,000 Lamborghini. He also admitted last summer to listening to voices that lured him away from his wife and his family and to being on the brink of getting a divorce.
“I literally thought about how I could end my life and still get to Heaven and somehow my kids would not be scarred but there was no way I could figure out how to do it. And I’m not the only person that thought about that. I’m not the only person the devil attacked in that area,” Gray said in a recording of his sermon to his church on New Year’s Eve posted to YouTube.
On Saturday, at a special leadership training session at First Baptist Church of Glenarden in Marlboro, Maryland, Bishop Jakes revealed to Gray that the spirit of suicide was still lurking in his home and he openly rebuked it.
“I don’t even want to open this up in public because I know how deep it is,” Jakes explained in a clip from the session posted to YouTube.
“But the Lord, power of the anointing is passing by. There is too much anointing in this room to minister to everybody else and leave you sitting over there festering and festering and festering, especially, you said it in a joking way but especially when the spirit of suicide hangs around your house. I’m trying to get you back,” said Jakes in the video as he laid hands on Gray and shouted “I call it out.”
Gray went to his knees and buried his face in his hands on the ground.
“You don’t get to run. You don’t get to hide, you don’t get to quit, you don’t get to faint, you don’t get to do any of that,” Jakes continued as members of the church gathered around the South Carolina preacher.
Jakes then told Gray that God was using the storms in his life to “make a man out of you.”