Hello people, It’s a half past 1am (CAT) and I’ve got to go to church early because my senior pastor is out of the country and a lot has been entrusted into my hands which i cannot fail God at accomplishing them… however, it always brings me great fulfillment to be in church and know that I am actually having this coffee with Jesus by scheduling this post to come up during the time worship is going on in church. Therefore, I am going to post this short writeup I wrote for Alariwo.org. I am a short story writer on the literary appreciation website and I have been since 2011. The post was written for a project on the site titled “Letter to my Crush” but since I am not crushing on anyone or anything physical, I decided to dedicate mine to Jesus… you can read the original write up here.

So without further ado, here is my letter to Jesus…

You are so beautiful. Words will fail me to give a full description. You are fairer than the lilies, more precious than gold.

I have shaped your face in my dreams… I know what you look like… I painted a perfect picture in my mind, yes, I painted you with the colours of love.

I stay up all night and long to see your face. When I wake up in the morning, it’s you that I see.

The sun for the morning, the moon for the night, the stars and the wind, all bring you closer to me.

I terribly long for you. My heart aches and my spine tingles. Goose pimples as my knees wobble.

You’ve had this effect on me from the get go… Like you are the very reason I am living, like without you I cannot live… But how can I admit that I’ve got a soft spot for you? Pride won’t let me…

“I’m too tough to fall in love,” I’d always brag before my friends, “besides, there is plenty of time for that in the future, falling in love now will make me uncool.”

I was that super-fly dude with a lot of spotlights on me. I had that epic effect when I step into a room. I had it going… Admitting I was crushing on you will cast a shade on my spotlight.

So I struggled… Everyday was a constant tussle between my selfish seed, my ego and love – till selfishness bore hate; Hate ate up everything… Including my ego. I became “unlovable.”

One after the other, those who sang my “cool” praise left me. Lost virtues and regret of what-might-have-been made my life miserable. The memory of you became a fantasy I cherish and as the spotlight dimmed, I realise love could have saved me.

I conceded and walked the walk of shame – out the door – no admirer, no self esteem, no friend, no love. In the midst of the noise around, I could swear I heard you call my name…

Then I saw your face… Like who stared, you saw me, you saw the shame, you saw the regret but unlike everyone else, you came close, you comforted me, you spoke kind words to me — you told me things I didn’t know that I didn’t know.

I was unlovable, but you showed me love.

You were my crush that I refused to crush on, but now, I will love you openly. Yes, I love You!

I will declare it on the mountain tops… Or skyscrapers (as the case may be), overseas and to anyone who cares to listen (and those who don’t), Since you can only crush on someone secretly, here is me not writing a letter to my crush but openly declaring My Love For Jesus.

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